EM & PETE'S CRUDE PICK-UP LINES ONE SHOT
by blushingrose1995
Summary: Emmett and Peter teach Edward dirty pick-up lines to use on girls. The sequel of this story will also be inside. I'm just too lazy to start the sequel as a second story so just think of it as part 2.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is the first crackfic that I'm doing. Just please let me know what you think of this one-shot story. No negative reviews please.**

Jasper and I decided to visit other family. They feed on animal blood like me. I only met them once when we were engaged. Emmett and Jasper were hilarious. Rosalie is standoffish and insecure. Esme is motherly and clingly, Carlisle is an awesome doctor and Edward was uptight.

He couldn't read my mind because I am a mental and physical shield. We are like fire and ice. He says I'm outspoken and I tell him that he is way too up tight and he needs to get laid. Emmett praised me for saying that. I remember saying that to his face.

_Jasper and I were in a heated make out session. I climbed on top of him and nibbled on his ear. Jasper groaned loud and Edward yelled upstairs._

_He stormed straight to us. "Could you control your thoughts?" he growled._

"_No can do Eddie," Jasper said. "She drives me crazy."_

_Then Edward glared at me. "You should control yourself, missy."_

"_And you need to get that stick out of your ass, gramps," I smirked. His expression was hilarious._

_Emmett started laughing when he came in. "Good one Bells."_

"_Seriously Edward, you need to get laid," I continued. "No vampire woman would want an uptight gramps."_

_He looked a bit embarrassed and stormed out._

"_You should go east on the guy," Emmett said._

"_Hell no," I said. "If he gets on my nerves I will tease him again."_

Jasper and I met when I was hunting in Colorado. It was kinda funny. He was trying to get a bear, but I got to it first. He was pissed off and I started to laugh when the bear was half drained. I shared the bear with him.

After that we introduced ourselves.

"_I'm Jasper Whitlock," he said._

"_Isabella Swan," I shook his hand. "So you feed on animal blood as well."_

"_Yeah, I struggled, but now I'm okay with feeding on the animals," Jasper said. "Do you have a coven?"_

"_Nah," I said. "I'm all by my lonesome self."_

"_You can meet my family, Peter and Charlotte," Jasper said. "They feed on human blood. Strictly criminals rapists, any kind of bad blood. My other family feeds on animal blood."_

"_Cool," I followed him._

Meeting Char and Pete was great. Charlotte is totally awesome. She can kick ass, while her husband acts like a goofball.

Here we are sitting in a bar. Esme and Carlisle didn't want to come with us because it wasn't their scene. Peter and Emmett are making some bet. I didn't want to hear any of it.

Jasper and I were just looking at Char and Rosalie dance. They were having some fun. Emmett then walked up to Edward. I couldn't hear what they were saying. Peter just looked at them in amusement.

The two vampires came up to us.

"What are you guys doing ?", Jasper asked suspiciously.

"We are giving tips to Eddie on how to get a woman," Peter said.

"This will be funny," Emmett said.

"Why ?", I asked.

"Just watch," Peter said.

We looked at Edward walking up to a red haired woman. She reminds me of that bitch of a cuntpire Victoria. I'm just glad I killed that bitch.

"If you were trash I would take you out," Edward said smoothly. The woman smacked him and walked away.

"That's what you were telling Edward ?", Jasper asked.

"Yep," Emmett said. "Just watch this"

Then he went to a black haired girl with green eyes. "I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day." Then the girl kicked him in the nuts. She walked away fast from him and out of the bar.

I am impressed that he didn't cry out in pain or show it.

"I can feel his pain," Jasper said, wincing.

Peter and Emmett howled in laughter. Edward tried again with some busty brunette. "My dick just died can I burry it in your pussy?"

The brunette kicked and punched him. "Go to hell you sicko !", she yelled.

"Oh man, not again," I moaned. "As annoying as Edward is he shouldn't get kicked soo much."

"It was only twice Bella," Peter said. "It shouldn't hurt that much."

I stood up and kicked Peter twice in the nuts. He crumpled down on the floor. "Oh sweet mama."

"So was is painful ?", I asked sweetly.

"Ouch," Emmett said. He covered his privates, scared that I would kick him next.

Edward still didn't give up. he walked up to another red head. "Hello."

"Hi", she said.

"Do you know what I like in a girl ?", he asked.

"No," the red head said.

"My dick," Edward finished.

The red head tazered him. He laid down on the ground whimpering. He got back up and went to a blonde chick.

"Do you live on a chicken farm? Cause you sure no how to raise a cock," he then ended that with a wink. The blonde punched his stomach, flipped her hair and walked away.

"Guys, you should give him a break," Jasper said.

"Fine, but we are going to another club so he can try there," Emmett said.

Rosalie and Char came to us. They stared at Edward being supported by the two vampires.

"What happened to him ?", Char asked.

"Too much horny not enough corny," Jasper said.

"Huh?", both asked asked.

"Emmett and Pete taught Edward a bunch of crude pick up lines and so far he got punched, slapped, kicked and tazered," I explained.

"Ouch," Rosalie said.

We got into the car. Peter and Emmett told Edward to relax before he goes on. I shook my head at the boys' antics.

"I don't know why we let Emmett and Pete give Edward dating advice," I said to Jasper.

"Me too," Jasper said.

Edward then went to a dark haired woman. She faced him.

"Are you a doctor ?", he asked.

"No ?", the dark haired woman answered cheekily.

"Oh, because you just cured my erectile dysfunction," Edward said. The woman kicked him.

"Ouch," Peter and Emmett chorused.

"Okay, I can't take it anymore," I stood up and walked to Edward.

"Dude, you stink at getting dates," I said.

"I know," he sulked and sat at the counter. "Em and Pete said those lines would work."

"They are wrong," I said. "Those pick-up lines are crude."

"I give up," Edward sighed.

I the smelled another vampire. It was a female vampire. The sweet smelling perfume was a dead give away.

"Edward, I have a great pick-up line that has 100% success rate," I said. "You see that petite pixie-like girl ?"

"Yes," Edward said cautiously.

"She's a vampire," I said. "Introduce yourself and start a conversation that will keep her captivated."

"What about the pick-up line ?", he asked.

"Edward, just go," I said.

He didn't want to so I pulled him to the petite vampire. "Hey I'm Bella and this is my brother-in-law Edward. He wanted to talk to you, but is too shy so I had to drag him here. Ciao."

I left Edward with the vampire and went back to the guys.

"What did you do ?", Jasper asked.

"Just watch," I said.

"Hi, I'm Edward," he said.

"You kept me waiting long enough," the vampire said. "I'm Alice and I am a psychic."

"I'm a mind reader," Edward said.

"You aren't gonna poke in my mind for secrets right ?", Alice jokingly asked.

"Don't worry, Bella placed her mental shield around you," Edward smiled.

"You should smile often," Alice said. "Don't be a grumpy pants."

Emmett and Peter stared at me.

"You are an awesome matchmaker," Charlotte said. "Unlike these two."

"Hey !", Peter said. "Those pick-up lines help me get you."

"Sure Peter, sure," Char said.

**A/N: There will be a sequel for this one shot. It's called Em and Pete's Antics.**


	2. SEQUEL: EM & PETE'S ANTICS

**A/N: Here is the sequel of Em and Pete's Crude Pick-up Lines.**

It has been a few years since Alice and Edward got married. It was not so over the top. Edward managed to calm Alice down. All in all it was a beautiful wedding. I was Alice's bride's maid of honor and Jasper was Edward's best man. The only reason why I was Alice's bride's maid of honor is because I managed to get her a mate.

Edward wasn't soo uptight anymore thanks to Alice. At times he usually has a stick up his ass and Alice always somehow manages to get it out. He is more outgoing and fun. The broody vampire who hated this existence is gone.

So here we are sitting in the living room because Emmett and Peter wanted to get us all involved with the prank calling. Emmett blocked the phone number.

"Okay, who wants to start first ?", he asked with a goofy grin on his face.

We didn't answer him at all.

"No volunteers, okay the. I will start," Emmett said dialing a number.

_"Moe's Tavern, Moe speaking," _the man from the other line said.

"Hello. Is Al there ?" Emmett asked.

Peter was snickering and Alice rolled her eyes knowing what Emmett is going to say to the tavern owner.

_"Al ?"_ Moe asked.

"Yeah. Al. Last name Coholic," Emmett grinned.

Jasper looked like he wanted to laugh. I understand the punch line , but come on. It is obvious.

_"Lemme check..[calls] Phone call for Al. Al Coholic. Is there an Alcoholic here ?"_

_Sure am !" one answered at the background. [background laughter]_

_"Wait a minute [to phone] Listen here you little yellow-bellied rat jackass, if i ever find out who you are I will kill ya !"_ then Moe hung up.

The Cullens and Whitlocks burst into laughter. Rosalie and I just shook our heads.

"I wanna try," Jasper said.

"This is pointless," Rosalie said. "All you guys are doing is irritating people on the phone."

Jasper dialed the same number that Emmett dialed.

_"Yeah, Moe's Tavern. Moe speaking,"_ the bar owner said.

"Is Jacques there ?" Jasper asked.

_"Who ?" _Moe asked.

"Jacques. Last name Strap," Jasper said with a grin on his face.

_"Uh hold on. [to everyone] Uh, Jacques Strap. Hey guys, I'm looking for a Jockstap." [laughs from all] Oh... wait a minute.. Jock strap ?! It's you isn't it ya cowardly little runt ? When I get hold of you, I'm gonna gut you like a fish and drink your blood."_

"You'll never get me ya gay fag !" Jasper said. "Kiss my ass copper !" Then he hung up.

Then we all started laughing. I laughed at the last part. Geez, who knew that bar owners would be soo violent.

"You guys are weird with a capital W," Charlotte said.

"Woman, you were laughing at that too," Peter said to her.

"How did you come up with those jokes ?" Edward said.

"With our creative minds," Emmett said.

"They got it from the internet," Rosalie said. "What brought this whole prank calling ?"

"We were bored," Peter said. "It has been too long since we tormented some people."

"You guys are something," I rolled my eyes at them.

"Why don't you try Bella ?" Emmett asked.

"I'll pass," I said.

"Oh come on. Don't be a party pooper like Eddiekins," Peter said.

"He is not a party pooper," Alice said. "He is the opposite of a party pooper."

"I really didn't want to hear that," Emmett grumbled.

"Get ya mind out of the gutter," Peter said punching Emmett's shoulder.

"Gimme the phone," I grabbed it from Emmett's hand.

"What are you going to do ?" Alice asked.

"Let's just say Jasper will be giving a lot of waves of jealousy," I smirked.

"What are ya talkin' 'bout woman ?" Jasper asked, a little pissed off.

"Okay just for that no sex for a week," I said.

Jasper looked angry at that.

I dialed the number I got that some guy who is already taken, but gave his number to me anyways.

"_Hello, Adrian speaking," _ the guy answered.

"You sound even sexier over the phone," I said in s seductive voice.

"_Excuse me ?"_ He asked.

"I said, you sound even sexier over the phone. I had soo much fun with you last night" I said, moaning at the end.

"_Who is that ? Are you cheating on me !" a girl from the background yelled._

"_W…w…who is this ?"_ Adrian asked.

"Don't play dumb with me," I said in a teasing tone.

"_Uh… is this a joke ?" _ he asked nervously. I could still hear his girlfriend yelling in the background.

"This is Stacey from La Italia Bella. We spent a lot of time in the back room ? You told me I was the perfect girl for you ?" I said in tone that Tanya from the Denali clan would use.

Emmett was shaking with laughter. Jasper looked like he was fuming. Alice, Rosalie and Charlotte looked shocked at what I was doing.

"_Uh, right," _ Adrian said, unsure.

"Don't be embarrassed. I think it's cute when men are so open like that. Anyway, it was sweet of you to offer to go to the wedding with me today. You know how embarrassing it is when your plus one bails at the last minute, especially when it's your sister's wedding… my parents will feel so much better now," I said sexily.

"_A wedding ?" _ he squeaked.

"You're adorable. Listen, I'll be there to pick you up in an hour. I can't wait to see you," I said, holding my giggles.

I could hear the girlfriend freaking out in the background.

After that I hung up.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH !" Emmett and Peter's booming laughter echoed throughout the house.

"I… c…can't b…b…believe you… HAHAHA !... did…HAHAHAHA ! t…that," Rosalie said, in between the gasps of laughter.

She was holding on to Alice.

"HA ! I didn't… HA!... s…see that… HAHAHA !... coming," Alice said.

Edward just smiled and Jasper just cracked a smile. I kissed him on the cheek and he grinned and at me. I sent him lust and he knew that the sex ban was gone.

"Bellsy finally catches the drift of prank calling !" Emmett cheered.


	3. Chapter 3

The prank calling was funny. The others wanted a go. Edward was up next. He was thinking for a moment, then he sort of had a eureka moment. I wonder what he was going to do next.

"Hello, is Mr. Wall there ?" Edward asked.

_"There is no Mr. Wall here. Sorry,"_ the man said.

"Can I speak with Mrs Wall then please," Edward asked.

_"Mrs Wall does not live here,"_ the man sounded a teensy bit annoyed.

"Well, can I speak with Harry Wall please ?" Edward asked in a whining tone.

_"There is no one by that name either,"_ the man said.

"Are there any walls there ?" Edward asked.

_"No, there are no walls here, sorry,"_ the man didn't sound like he was sorry.

"Then may I ask what is holdiong up your house," Edward said.

"Wha- Is this a prank call ?" the man was really irritated. "When I get my hands-"

Then Edward hung up.

We all laughed at that. I think I had a blonde moment not knowing the punch line.

"That was funny," Emmett said, snickering. "You could've done a lot better like Bella and Jasper, but it was okay."

"Thanks. I think," Edward said, confused.

"Peter, you're up," Alice said. "Here's the number."

"You gave Jessica's house number ?" Edward asked.

"Yeah. It's time for a little payback when she flirted with you," Alice growled.

"I have a feeling that this will be A+ material," Charlotte said.

Peter dialed the number.

"Is Jessica there ?" Peter asked.

_"No, this is her father speaking,"_ Mr Stanley said._ "Who is this ?"_

"It's -"

"Mike Newton," Alice whispered.

"Mike Newton," Peter said.

_"Okay, what did you want ?" _Mr. Stanley asked rudely.

"So...um... this is kind of awkward, but I was in your daughter Jessica's room two nights ago and I left my wallet behind," Peter said, grinning like Emmett.

Alice was giggling into a pillow and I hid my face in Jasper's leather jacket.

_"YOU WHAT !" _he yelled. We winced at the volume of his voice.

"Well, I was hooking up...er, hanging out with your daughter and I left my wallet in her room. I have been trying to call her for two days, but she has been ignoring me, so I had to call the house. Sorry sir, but I really do need my wallet," Peter said in an urgent tone.

_"If I may ask, how did you get in the house ?"_ he asked angrily.

"Oh, I did what all the guys did. I snuck in through the window," Peter said.

_"You what ?!" _Mr. Stanley yelled making us wince again.

"Let me repeat myself old man," Peter said. We all snickered. "I went through the window. Anyways, would you mind looking for my wallet, sir ?"

"And where might I find it ?" Mr. Stanley asked ,ignoring the old man remark.

"Well...um, it should be at the bottom of the bed. Next to my boxers. Would you mind grabbing those too ?" Peter said.

_"YOUR WHAT !"_ Mr. Stanley yelled. _"WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU NEWTON YOU WILL BE DEAD MEAT ! I WILL-"_

Then Peter hung up. We all collapsed in laughter. Rosalie and Charlotte were holding on to each other. Jasper was just smiling. For once Edward was laughing as well.

"I just had a vision of Mr and Mrs Stanley dragging Jessica with them to get a whole bunch of pregnancy tests," Alice said.

"Oh man," Rosalie burst into laughter.

"What's worse is that Lauren will be there," Alice said.

"We have to go to see that chaos," Edward said.

"Wait !" I yelled. "I just got another idea."

"What is it ?" Charlotte asked.

"Just wait and listen," I said as I took the phone from Peter. I dialed Mrs Mallory's number.

_"Hello ?"_ Mrs Masllory answered.

"Hello. Is this Meredith Mallory ?" I asked in a British accent.

"Yes," she answered." Who is this ?"

"This is Dr. Masen from Seattle Grace," I said. "I just recieved results on your daughter's tests."

"Results ? Tests ?" she asked clearly confused.

"Oh yes," I said. "Your daughter came here a couple pf days ago to see if she was pregnant and the results are positive. Congrats. You are going to be a gran."

_"WHAT !"_ she yelled.

"Your daughter Lauren got pregnant by Mike Newton," I said. "Anyways I think you should celebrate the news with the rest of your family. Good day." And then I hung up.

"Holy shit !" Emmett yelled. "We are getting those skanks in trouble !"

"Oh man...HAHAHAHA!...It hurts...HAHAHAHAHAHA!...They will throw a shit fit," Charlotte was laughing at that.

"We should check what's gonna happen," Alice said.

"Huh ?" we all asked.

"The hapy family will run into each other at Walmart," Alice said.

"But you wouldn't be caught dead in Walmart," Rosalie said.

"I'm not that shallow," Alice said. "And besides, we can torment the innocent shoppers at Walmart thanks to the list Emmett printed out earlier."

"Let me guess," Rosalie said. "It's ways to get kicked out of Walmart."

"Bingo," Emmett said.

"What will we do now ?" I asked.

"Let me give this whole prank call a try," Rosalie said.

"Wait a sec," Alice said. "Quick question. Why did you use Edward's human last name ?"

"Oh that's easy," I said. "It sounded much better suited with the accent I was going to use. I hope that isn't a problem."

"I'm cool with it," Jasper said.

"Me too," Edward agreed. "You're my sister anyways."

"Tone down the waves of jealousy," Jasper said.

"Whose jealous ?" Rosalie asked.

"Alice is jealous of Bella for using Edward's human last name," Emmett said.

We all looked at him.

"Come on," Emmett said. "I'm not that much of an idiot."

"Right..." we all said.

"Don't be jealous," I said. 'It doesn't suit you."

"Hmph," Alice pouted and folded her arms.

"Anyways, gimme the phone," Rosalie said and In handed her the phone.

_"Hello ?" _ we heard Jessica's voice.

"They are on to us. They know what we did to Mike," Rosalie said, pretending to panic.

_"WHAT !"_ Jessica yelled.

"I said they know... Listen, we need to get out of town," Rosalie said. She sounded like a killer who is running away.

_"But I don't know who you are,"_ Jessica said, pancking as well.

"Don't play dumb missy. It was all your idea," Rosalie growled.

_"I don't know what -"_

"I'll be over in 15 minutes. Pack up," Rosalie said and hung up.

We laughed again.

"Jessica will really be worried about her beloved Mike," Alice said.

"I cannot wait for tomorrow," Emmett said.

**A/N: I hope this chapter was funny enough for you guys. Please review.**


	4. Chapter 4

**BELLA'S POV**

It was the next day. All of us were getting ready to check out the drama rama in Walmart between the Stanley's, Mallory's and Newtons. This is going to be a crazy and a rocking day. Plus Emmett wanted to try out the list of things we are not allowed to do at Walmart or s he calls it a whole bunch of ways to get kicked out of Walmart.

Anyways Peter and Emmett drove in the Jeep. Rosalie was pouting because Peter took the passenger seat next to the driver's seat. Charlotte was also pouting because she was not sitting with Peter. Edward and Alice was also pouting because they are not allowed to drive after getting caught speeding last week.

Boy was Carlisle pissed off like crazy. He took their keys away from them for two months. Alice was also not allowed shopping. As for Edward he got off easy. Anyways off we went to Walmart. We noticed the cars of Meredith Mallory and the car of Mrs Newton. This is going to be a heck of a crazy morning. I cannot wait to see the major confrontation.

We entered the store. Rosalie got her video camera out. Alice got a camera to take pics. And there they were, the happy family. Mrs and Mr Stanley along with Jessica. They were holding a bunch of pills and pregnancy tests. They did not even notice the stares they were getting. Then there was Lauren with her mother.

"I cannot believe that that vile Newton boy got you knocked up," Meredith muttered. "He is not a proper guy that you should be with."

"Mother, I did not sleep with Jessica's ex. And by the way I would never get knocked up like you. I don't want to spoil my body like you spoiled yours by acting like a slut.," Lauren flipped her hair and walked away from her mother.

"Lauren ! Get back here and apologise to me !" Meredith yelled. "What you said is not the truth."

"I'll apologise when hell freezes over and when you stop sleeping around with married men," Lauren yelled loud enough so that everyone can hear.

Lauren left the store leaving her mother behind. The Stanley's came up to her. Jessica stood away from her parents and Lauren's mom.

"Meredith are you alright ?" Mrs Stanley asked.

"N...n...no," Meredith sobbed.

"Oh dear," Mr Stanley gasped as her make-up ran down.

"Argh, she looks like a freaking clown," Charlotte said, shuddering. "Does she need that much make-up to hide her hideous wrinkles."

"What happened there ?" Mrs Stanley asked.

"Michael Newton defiled my daughter and got her pregnant," Meredith carried on sobbing.

"Excuse me ! My son did not get your slut of a daughter pregnant. He had much better standards than her," Mrs Newton said angrily behind the Stanley's.

"Uh oh. I see a bitch slap comin' on," Emmett said.

"My daughter is not a slut !" Meredith yelled at Mrs Newton.

"You're right. It is you who is a slut. Michael did not screw any girl because every night he helped his father rebuild the truck every night," Mrs Newton defended her son.

"B...b...but," Meredith stuttered.

"Maybe your daughter screwed other guys like you did," Mrs Newton said.

Then the two women got into a fight. Jessica snuck away and ran out the store while the others were distracted with the fighting. There was yelling and scratching and name calling. It took four guards to separate the women. One guard ended up with a black eye and the other ended up having a broken nose. The last two both got elbowed in the stomach and head bumped.

Ouch !

The were banned from the Seattle Walmart and kicked out. Rosalie and Alice got all that on tape and flim.

"Man, who knew this shit would be awesome !" Peter yelled.

"That was crazy," Edward said. "Like mother like daughter."

"Guess Lauren got her slutty side from her mother. No suprise there," Emmett commented. "Anyways onto the list."

"What will we do first ?" Edward asked.

"Tipee as much of the store as possible !" I shouted out.

"Hell yeah !" Jasper and Peter agreed.

"I'm in !" Emmett boomed. "To the toilet papers !"

We ran to the toiletry aisle and got as much of it as possible. Rosalie and I went to the west side of the store, Emmett and Peter went to the east side, Edward and Jasper went to the north side and Alice and Charlotte went to the south side. We threw toilet papers over the aisle and at people. We switched positions and guess what we got. The entire store was tipeed under three minutes.

"What the hell-" one customer looked around.

"Man, who did this ?"

"Dude, this is one of those pranks from that list we got" one skater guy said to his friend.

"We gotta try some of those pranks man," the friend said.

"We better get out of here," Alice said. "There is going to be a lockdown."

We ran back to our cars and drove off to the nearest Walmart out of town. After an hour of driving we reach our destination.

"So who was going to cause the lockdown ?" Edward asked his mate.

"Those skater guys. They were going to sneak into the security office and use the main intercom and announce a fake code that would send the entire store into a panic," Alice answered.

"Man, we should have stayed there," Peter said.

"No ways," Charlotte disagreed.

"Heck no guys," Rosalie said.

"Anyways let's do a few pranks at Walmart and go home or shopping," Alice said.

"Good idea," I agreed.

We entered the store and then got the list out.

Charlotte and I were going up first. We were going to the clothing department and hide in the bundle of clothes. A woman came and we began.

"Pick me," Charlotte whisper in a strange creepy voice.

"Pick me," I whispered.

"Pick me, pick me, pick me," we carried on.

"Whose there ? Come out," the woman said.

I snuck behind a giant gnome statue and whispered loudly. 'Pick me !"

"The gnomes. They are after me. THE GNOMES ! WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !" , she screamed and ran out.

Charlotte and I stepped out of our hiding places.

"Nice one. That woman is going to need therapy," Edward said.

Next it was Jasper's turn. He took a bottele of tomato sauce and made a red trail from the changing rooms to the bundle of clothes. He then got a mannequin into the bundle of clothes.

A woman came and screamed. The security caught Peter with the tomato bottle and we ran like mad men. We then got into our cars and drove off back to the house.


	5. Chapter 5

**ALICE'S POV**

I had a vision of the two women getting therapy from Carlisle. He would not suspect us playing those pranks. Bella was driving fast like I was before I got the speeding ticket.

We beated the others home. Rosalie and Charlotte was second and Edward and Jasper was third. We all noticed that Emmett was not behind us. And niether was Peter. Where the heck are they. It does not take long to drive back home fast.

"Where's Em and Pete ?" Bella asked as Jasper pulled her close to him.

"I don't know," I said. "They are blocking my visions and right now it is giving me a headache."

"Take it easy Ali," Charlotte said. "They will be back."

"I hope so. Carlisle and Esme will be back any second to tell us about their day," I said.

We got into the house. Edward wemt straight to his piano. Jasper and Bella were on their laptops. Rosalie was reasing some vampire romance novel. Charlotte is reading a magazine and I am just playing some fashion game on my phone.

"How long will it be until Carlisle and Esme get here ?" Edward asked.

"Two minutes," I answered.

I could hear Carlisle's Mercedes down the road. Looks they are seriously on their way. 120 seconds passed and we could hear them park the car with ours in the garage. They entered the house.

"Seems like everything is normal here," Esme said. "Nothing is broken...or damaged."

"I don't smell any venom leaking and no one is wounded," Carlisle added.

"Just my idiot husband missing," Rosalie muttered angrily.

"Ditto," Charlotte said.

"Where are they ?" Esme asked.

"We decided to take them shopping," Charlotte began. "But they wanted to go to some game centre."

"After we were done shopping we went to get them we did not even smell them there. They did not go to the arcade," Rosalie said.

"We looked everywhere but could not find them," Charlotte lied.

"So we drove back home thinking that they were here," Rosalie added.

"But their suspicions were wrong," i said. "I warned them not to take Pete and Em , but they insisted so I stayed at home not wanting to be involved with those two idiots."

"Well, I had a crazy day," Carlisle said, sitting down. "Two women thought they heard voices or saw a dead body."

"One was a claustrophobic in the Seattle Walmart," Esme said.

"Guys, I think we have to turn on the news," I said. "Turn to channel 2."

Bella went to switch the TV on and turned it to channel 2.

_"Good evening. We are here in Seattle were two college boys are at rooftop of Walmart. Firemen are trying to get them down. OH MY GOSH ! IS THAT AN ELECTRONICE CART THEY HAVE THERE !" then the screen went black._

_"Oh no," Rosalie muttered._

_"WE HAVE TO GET THEM !" Esme yelled and dragged Carlisle with her. Rosalie and Charlotte followed after them._

_"What is going to happen ?" Bella asked me._

_"They are going to drive the electronic carts down the roof and wreck them," I said._

_"They are so dead," Jasper said._

_"More like the living dead," Edward muttered. "Idiots."_

_"Don't we kmow it," I muttered._


End file.
